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Posts tagged: newt

  • Herc:

    So we're fine. As long as no one clones any Kaiju.

  • Newt:

    Question.

  • Herc:

    What's your question, Newton?

  • Newt:

    I cloned Kaiju.

  • Herc:

    What.

  • Newt:

    You told me to.

  • Herc:

    How many?

  • Newt:

    I have done nothing but clone kaiju for three years.

  • Herc:

    So we're fine. As long as no one clones any Kaiju.

  • Newt:

    Question.

  • Herc:

    What's your question, Newton?

  • Newt:

    I cloned Kaiju.

  • Herc:

    What.

  • Newt:

    You told me to.

  • Herc:

    How many?

  • Newt:

    I have done nothing but clone kaiju for three years.

idemandthingstobeawesome:

“They mostly come at night. Mostly.”

idemandthingstobeawesome:

“They mostly come at night. Mostly.”

In Hispanic South Florida, the Republican candidates for president were regaling audiences of Castrophobic exiles with their promises, if elected, to all but rain nuclear warheads on Havana. In one exchange of spectacular idiocy, whoring for both Cuban exiles and evangelicals, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich speculated about whether Castro’s soul would go to heaven when he dies. Their preposterous rhetoric, cynical to the point of condescension, provoked an unexpected critic whose harsh verdict should be their epitaph.

“Selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is—and I mean this seriously—the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been,” declared an appalled Fidel Castro in Cuba’s state media.

Even allowing for the English translation, it’s clear that the senescence of the ailing ex-president has been greatly exaggerated by his enemies. Castro’s assessment of the frantic scramble for America’s least intelligent, least compassionate voters reminds us that he is, for all his sins, a well-educated attorney of aristocratic origins who might use a Rick Perry or Michele Bachmann for a hat stand.
A long race ended up being good for Obama in 2008. It toughened him up as a candidate, flushed out his vulnerabilities (Reverend Wright etc), and strengthened his profile and organisation in battleground states. But I’m doubtful that the same applies to Romney. The longer this goes on, the weaker he looks. He’s not David taking on Goliath, as Obama was; he’s trying to overcome a guy who appears to believe that a college education is for snobs, a guy whose most famous policy is lunar colonisation, and…Ron Paul. The more difficult Romney makes this look, the more diminished he becomes, and the more extreme too, in the eyes of general election voters (Obama and Clinton weren’t really dragging each other to the left). He is also liable to make more of those priceless bloopers.

fiveoftheweek:

  Campaign Doctrine: First Thoughts on Gingrich vs. Romney

DO YOU ALREADY KNOW AND LOVE JAY SMOOTH?

If so:

Congratulations! He has posted a new vlog! Enjoy!

If not:

Congratulations! You get to watch Ill Doctrine videos for the first time!

Romneymania Sweeps America | The Onion:

TAMPA, FL—From coast to coast, town to town, and in nearly every public meeting place and private residence across America, millions have been captivated, inspired, and in some cases moved to tears by presidential candidate Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor who now finds himself campaigning before a nation in the throes of full-scale Romneymania.
"The raw energy and enthusiasm Mitt Romney stirs inside people is like nothing I’ve ever seen," Youngstown, OH auto mechanic Chris Ritenour said Wednesday. "Everything he says resonates with Americans. His moving story of growing up privileged, his inspiring rise from moderate wealth to overwhelming riches, his thrilling work in the highest echelons of corporate finance—he really speaks to the heart and mind of the common man."
"I don’t think there’s been a presidential candidate this exciting and magnetic in generations, if ever." Ritenour continued. "I am a Romneymaniac."

Romneymania Sweeps America | The Onion:

TAMPA, FL—From coast to coast, town to town, and in nearly every public meeting place and private residence across America, millions have been captivated, inspired, and in some cases moved to tears by presidential candidate Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor who now finds himself campaigning before a nation in the throes of full-scale Romneymania.

"The raw energy and enthusiasm Mitt Romney stirs inside people is like nothing I’ve ever seen," Youngstown, OH auto mechanic Chris Ritenour said Wednesday. "Everything he says resonates with Americans. His moving story of growing up privileged, his inspiring rise from moderate wealth to overwhelming riches, his thrilling work in the highest echelons of corporate finance—he really speaks to the heart and mind of the common man."

"I don’t think there’s been a presidential candidate this exciting and magnetic in generations, if ever." Ritenour continued. "I am a Romneymaniac."

According to the Department of Agriculture, which administers the food stamp program, 41 percent of beneficiaries live in a household that has earnings, with paychecks the primary source of the income. Thirty-four percent of beneficieares are white, 22 percent black and 16 percent Hispanic. (Twenty percent of recipients did not report their race.)

Gingrich Pushes Back Against Charges of Racism - NYTimes.com

"“I will go to the NAACP convention, and explain to the African-American community why they should demand paychecks instead of food stamps.”

- Newt Gingrich

(via mrbread)

(via sexartandpolitics)