lepus:

atomicsocialist:

Now that I’m middle class we have to lay down some new ground rules okay? 

• I am totally not racist and love black people. But only when they’re non threatening, dress in a suit like me and talk like they’re white. Otherwise I’m gonna lock the doors on my BMW when they pass by. 


• Political opinions only go as far left as Keith Olbermann. I mean, he supports Occupy! How much further to the left can you go in America. It’s not like we have communism here like in Russia. 


• Lower my god damn taxes already. Grandma and Grandpa need to get cut off too, it’s their fault they didn’t have a 401k 


• The only Mexicans I like are the ones on my payroll. And I only like them because they do good work and keep their mouths shut. Unless they’re speaking that maidspeak shit.  All the rest of you can get lost because America is for Americans! 


• Now that I have enough money to live decently within my means, it’s time to live extravagantly beyond my means. So yes, that means a new Mercedes to replace that shoddy old BMW, a 60” flatscreen and a McMansion in the suburbs. 


• Childhood Obesity is the number one health concern in the country! But only if you’re poor. Damn poor people making poor dietary choices. My 300lb 12 year old is perfectly healthy even though he can’t get up the 3 stairs to get on the front porch without getting winded. Tell poor kids what to eat, I’ll feed my kid what I want! 


• Also, I’ve noticed smokers are usually poor people. How stupid are they? Cigarettes cost money, maybe that’s why they’re poor! Some say that it relieves stress, well why don’t they just go out to Tahoe and go jetskiing if they need to relax? That’s what I do! Dumb poor people


• I will force my old LPs upon my son now. If he doesn’t like Jimmy Buffet and Pink Floyd, then he’s a dumb rebellious teenager. His music sucks, I need to introduce him to REAL music. 

So yeah now that I’m middle class those things will be changing shortly. 

Reblogged for the “Middle Class People Suck” tag

heh

edit:  L - O -  FUCKING - L YOU THINK PEOPLE WITH BMW’S ARE MIDDLE CLASS??  SMH