zuky:

Speaking of Anglos Valiantly Aiding Tragic Awe-inspiring Races, Hollywood mega-director and Good White Liberal James Cameron toured the Alberta oilsands today, before a scheduled meeting with First Nations and Metis leaders:

“I’m still taking in. I’m still in sponge mode, you know, sort of finding out how all this works and getting my arms around it,” Cameron replied when asked for his initial thoughts of the oilsands on the second day in the area.

He was headed off to Fort Chipewyan Tuesday afternoon, where he is to meet with local First Nations and Metis chiefs before a community meeting.

He’s expected to return to Edmonton on Wednesday for a meeting with Premier Ed Stelmach.

“I’ve gotten a lot of information from a lot of different sources and all of those sources have their own specific agenda, so I want to just try to get a balanced view of what’s going on up here,” he said Tuesday.

He was joined by Alberta Environment Minister Rob Renner and Greg Stringham, vice-president of the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers, as well as Syncrude and Cenovus representatives.

Flying over the oilsands, Cameron said it’s easy to see how much of the natural landscape is being affected, so it’s important to understand what the short- and long-term impacts of that are in terms of health and environment for the First Nation communities.

You know who’s capable of having “a balanced view”? White people! People of color don’t have the “balanced view” faculty. We’re all magic, mystery, and emotionalism. That’s why you need white lead characters in all those movies about strange exotic lands and cultures. You need a rational person with a balanced view. Only such a person can be a saviour.

Perhaps Cameron will end up screaming “NOOOOO!!!” with one arm outstretched and the other arm cradling an aboriginal mother and child, while the petroleum extraction proceeds as before. He will then storm into the office of Greg Stringham, vice president of the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers, slam his fist on the desk, and seethe, “We had an agreement with those people!! We gave them our word!!” Upon which Stringham will lean back in his executive chair with an icy stare, holding a fountain pen in both hands, and reply, “Oh grow up, Jim.”

Or maybe he’s planning a documentary on the subject. Who knows.

cameron is going to help all those canadian indians, as well as all the confused white people unsure if we should be going ahead with this kind of project down here in The America, to get a more balanced view, which will be easy when they see his new tar sands documentary, filmed with the 3-D cameras he developed for his multiple-oscar-winning film avatar!

at least 2% of all ticket sales will flow back to the first nations to help them fight against the oil industry, assuming that looks like their best option, from a balanced long-term perspective.

also there will be an exclusive trailer for ‘avatar 2: if we already blew up their treehouse we might as well strip-mine that shit’.

“I’ve gotten a lot of information from a lot of different sources and all of those sources have their own specific agenda, so I want to just try to get a balanced view of what’s going on up here,” he said Tuesday.

listen jim, i’m no expert myself, but i’m pretty sure the tar sands project is complete bullshit.  produces more polluted waste water than oil, tons of wild country destroyed, significantly more greenhouse gases than liquid oil.

it’s our very own north american three gorges dam!  a big and blunt and so very bureaucratic solution that makes a lot of noise and costs a lot of money and causes lots of problems and delays and ballooning costs, and in the end almost, but not quite, doesn’t solve the actual problem.

the only real question, to which we already know the answer, is why aren’t we building wind farms and solar grids and fuel cells and hybrid cars instead of tearing up half of alberta for a marginal benefit that’s only going to prop up a broken system for another few decades?