'werry good, sir.'
‘brought a tear to my eye.’
‘oh be quiet.’
so generations opens with cameron from ferris bueller accidentally getting kirk killed, and you know thats going to eat him up forever, but also that sequence is nonstop scotty heckling kirk and it’s amazing.
then we cut to worf’s promotion to lt cmmdr, which involves manacling him and accusing him of being really great and setting him a ridiculous physical challenge that has never been done before but which he does handily bc //worf is awesome, fact// and then riker dunking him in the water anyways.
and the scene is sold as riker turning to worf and going ‘prank’d!!’ and haha, boys club, just guys doing guy stuff, except, //really//? that is a straight up //kirk// move, riker, and while next gen could be obnoxiously sanctimonious about the utopian idealism at times, it was also generally a show about people not being total bro assholes to each other all the time.
what part of this ceremonial prank shows //respect for worf// and his accomplishments?
AND THEN in what amounts to superman lecturing wonder woman about how //real// heroes never kill level of buzzkilling, data tries to get in on the fun by pushing beverly into the water too and everyone //loses their fucking shit//.
geordi and troi lecture data about how that was //not funny// and data is sad and this is awful because one, when beverly says that dunk-tanking worf at his own promotion ceremony is ‘all in good fun’ but then data does it to her //and she’s still mad later//, idk, i wonder why it’s okay to prank the big strong black man and not the delicate white woman, hrrm.
and two, when beverly tells data to get into the spirit of things and he says ‘okay’ and immediately dunk-tanks //her// it is STRAIGHT-UP HILARIOUS. and he has this amazing little smile and she knocks worf back in and everyone is all tut-tutting but i call bullshit.
and beverly is furious about it, data is advised to avoid sickbay, but there’s worf right back at work without so much as having riker’s chair sent in for repairs for a week, hrrm, i wonder why that is.
i had forgotten that riker pranking worf became a theme for the whole movie series, and it was awful.
worf comes to the bridge after being beamed off the defiant onto the e, //in the middle of the borg fight//, and picard is all ‘yes good please shoot them some more’ and riker snarks about the defiant being a tough little ship and pulls worf’s arm and asks him if he still remembers how to fire phasers.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING BATTLE.
WHEN HE JUST LOST HIS SHIP AND PROBABLY HALF OF HIS CREW.
RIKER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
not as bad as picard calling worf a coward during his terrible ahab moment, which somehow doesn’t end with beverly hypospraying picard six hours earlier and declaring him unfit for duty and bugging out and nuking the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.
then in insurrection picard calls worf, just straight up open comm channel from the bridge in front of the whole bridge crew, to berate him bc he’s still on bajoran time and late for his shift on this ridiculous side mission that picard drafted him for instead of giving him a shuttle to get back to ds9 WHERE THERE IS A FUCKING WAR ON. worf, shell shocked, battle scarred, his wife may have been dead at this point, is stuck on the enterprise, and being scolded on an open comm by a man who ten minutes later looks at him //literally aghast// because he doesn’t know who gilbert and sullivan are.
there’s the klingon pimple bit, the klingon puberty bit, just, ugh.
i’m sure there was some bullshit in nemesis but fuck that movie.
this video would be another couple minutes longer if they included the movies
the thing that really bothers me about these technopessimists is that they conflate everything large and complex with an orwellian conspiracy, and people who don’t understand the socially transformative power of the internet are what scares me bc //my grandparents get it// so whats your fucking problem.
oh right, you don’t trust people. this is why when it comes to the next gen analogies they always personify the internet with the borg and not data.
people are always all ‘you fools, you’ve all been tricked by your facebooks and livejournals into becoming pavlovian automotons’ and while mostly i just hear that xkcd comic where every person on the subway car is thinking ‘i am the only conscious person in a world of of sheep’, and also a little bit of vizzini, and also ‘you fools, earth shall have lost its last great scientist, i, duran duran, inventor of the atomic ray!’, if i’m honest i really just feel bad for them because all they got out of next gen talking about technology was //the borg//?
geordi is a blind guy who became an astronaut, and his best friend is a robot. if you can make it through seven seasons and the very important st:generations of data as a walking talking google algorithm trying to find his place in this world, and all you remember is that the borg are scary but you misunderstood //why//? congratulations, you are everyone who ever dismissed something popular with those damn fool kids today bc they were living on different terms than you knew or understood, and therefore inherently //wrong// ones with no social merit or moral character.
the internet is not skynet, it’s //abed//. and abed is better.
and the borg are scary bc they are //zombies//. i don’t know why i have to explain that. ppl who think the internet invented hollow narcissism should maybe go read gatsby.
I don’t think I’ll ever get over the part where Kirk comes into the turbolift and Uhura’s first line was -literally - “How do you feel?” So Kirk can explain to the audience how he feels. And, of course she would ask, because she is a cypher for the two male leads/her role is “woman on the ship.”
But - yes - give John Cho some lines! I’m going to get into this more, but there are a number of ways Fast 6 is the movie ST:ID should be and knowing what to do with its awesome Asian-American character is one of them. If Sulu could have had an arc like Han? Oh man, that would have been great…
(I was actually really more disappointed because tumblr tricked me into thinking this movie let him be an amazing badass, but it turned out to be one really short, mediocre scene).
Fasts and Furiouses are the future of cinema, I think? I gotta see this one. In the rumbly seats.
Justin Lin for all Abrams jobs as the director/producer version of "Idris Elba and Lucy Liu to play all the white dudes you have ever loved"?
i am fundamentally into the idea of justin lin directing star trek thirteen
sulu and the excelsior please
Saw ST:ID with my dad for Father’s Day and…I am not happy about it.
However, in an effort to save everyone some time, I’ll list the things I liked. I’m pretty sure this is a comprehensive list:
- Karl Urban’s as handsome as ever
- Karl Urban showing off those forearms (could have been more forearms tbh)
- John Cho is a top-notch, stone-cold cutie
- Simon Pegg’s still adorable
I think they did a pretty good job playing with [male] peripheral characters, although I think a lot of the dialogue in the first part of the movie was embarrassing. It got better. Simon Pegg (and, listen, I’m not really even a fan) is doing his job really well. Give him a raise. You could give me nothing but Karl Urban as Bones saying stupid shit and I would see it three times. But, I dunno…what if they allowed peripheral characters to be more than peripheral characters? What if? What if they did SHIT with their highest-paid peripheral character who happened to be UHURA??? What if?
And dear lord, DEAR GOD, they missed the boat with John Cho. He got like two lines. Do these assholes not go on the internet? Do they have no idea how ready the world is for John Cho to get some lines? Empirical evidence (horny ladies with blogs) leads me to believe that the world has never been more ready for anything than they are for JOHN CHO TO GET SOME FUCKING LINES.
I could have used more Sulu, is what I’m saying.
did sleepy hollow realize they’d cast john cho i keep asking every week as he keeps not being fourth billed instead of ghost wife
why isn’t he first billed
do you know who he is
….lmao is this a real thing
i really don’t understand where this myth that women don’t enjoy star trek came from? like, what sort of cave of delusion do you live in
who do you think dressed up for cons and published zines and drew fanart and wrote all the fanfiction and coined the term slash back when star trek was not a franchise but a little-watched sixties TV series that was cancelled after three seasons
we helped keep this thing going and we’ve been here all along, you’re just not looking
It’s been ages now, but I was an intern at a magazine when Star Trek (2009) was doing its press tour. I transcribed a similar quote from Lindelof, and in the process lost it very, very quietly in my cube. Then made my way to the reporter’s office, closed the door, and lost it loudly.
I mean, ffs. Who does he think SAVED THE SHOW? Who crafted one of the first successful letter writing campaigned? Who organized one of the first, legitimately successful TV Show-Specific cons? People who had a lot of time on their hands (in part by many of them being stay-at-home moms), and a lot of energy, and a lot of enthusiasm? Women.
Star Trek simply wouldn’t exist, much less exist as a property highly dependent on the enthusiasm of a small number of fans with highly soluble wallets — hell, modern fandom as we know it wouldn’t exist (we pre-date Star Wars after all) if it wasn’t for the geek culture women pioneered and crafted.
And him being so blind? And so dismissive at, well, frankly, the people that make his entire career, much less this specific job, possible? Man, I’m angry all over again.
Damon Lindelof is literally the biggest back of dicks around. Not only for this, but he’s a Roman Polanski apologist as well. Just a horrible, horrible travesty of a human being.
WOMEN STARTED YOUR PRECIOUS SCI-FI GENRE.
YOU WOULD HAVE NO STAR TREK WITHOUT US.
YOU WOULD HAVE NO VAST UNIVERSE TO EXPLORE WITHOUT US AND OUR WORDS AND OUR STORY AND OUR INGENUITY.
THIS is why I write Winona Kirk the way I do. This shit right here. Because he’s a fucking toolbag, and he didn’t do anything but reinforce the idea that women are mothers, widows, defined (literally) by the men in their lives. And Winona fucking Kirk would have eaten him for breakfast.
I write Winona Kirk the way I do because of this shit right here.
Just give me a chance, just give me a chance to cut his throat out, I’d do a good job I swear
can we talk about how everyone in that meeting was a dude worried about their ability to satisfy their wives
which, haha you assholes
WHY WERE THERE NO WIVES IN THE MEETING
WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST FUCKING //ASK THEM//
WHY DIDN’T YOU //HIRE THEM//
WHY WERE YOU GUESSING
you put a bunch of white dudes in a room and asked them to create a future what did you think was going to happen
There are millions of reasons why the casting of Cumberbatch-Khan in Into Darkness was horrible. Above all of them, of course, is that they whitewashed one of the most important and iconic and powerful and complicated characters of color in science fiction history. And that’s enough. (And…
The genetically engineered superhuman backstory - the Eugenics wars, the subsequent banning of eugenic experimentation and gene therapy, the exile of everyone like Khan - is also a challenge to the idea of supremacy. The consensus is that eugenics was a terrible mistake - the outcome was a race of super warlords, supervillains. People who were evil because they had been created with this idea that some humans are superhuman. We created a monstrous vision of humanity for us to become. Our ability to realize that belief nearly destroyed the human race - the implication is that eugenics was at least as serious as any of the other apocalyptic future past threats humanity had to deal with on its way to galactopia. This story comes from the Cold War, when we realized that humanity’s ability to destroy itself had become democratic. Our concept of the Other was fundamentally wrong, since we were now equal in the most important way of all, super powers, destroyers of worlds, but our picture of ourselves was just as dangerous. There was a direct line from historical, genocidal racist eugenicists to this science-fiction story about the people standing on their shoulders.
I mean, yet another way in which Abrams gets this wrong is his sense that Khan is a terrorist. He’s an emperor, a conqueror - and then later on he’s trying to mount a coup. He represents the power that does not belong to us, the powers we cannot legitimately claim. The 9/11 analogy that was all over this movie like gunmetal fondant was fundamentally broken. Khan is not The Enemy. He’s actually Superman, but in a world that misread Superman. That was Roddenberry’s point: Superman is not Jesus, he is not the messiah, and if we forget that we will turn him into a false prophet and he will lead us straight into hell.
And when this came up again, it was a story about Dr. Julian Bashir. Benedict Cumberbatch would have made the perfect Borg King (remember Alice Krieg?), and there’s a reason that species is coded as snow-white and undead, and why their backstory includes killing all the Guinans. JJ Abrams probably thinks they represent our technocratic totalitarian future, and I’m sure he’s going to ruin them too.
This is incredible, so right. I totally (with distaste) keyed in on the war-on-terror stylization of Into Darkness, the very weak (and dated) model of publicness that it relies on, “Khan bombs a federation building in the middle of London, ~~CGI renditions of civilians fleeing and dying~~~. Although I did kinda like the (you might call it) pastiche London skyline, and I love love loved how much it wrote a history of architecture in the future as architectuer After Hadid. One of mybiggest interests is architecture in the speculative, and I was into it. And then it got all Day After Tomorrow and flattened the thing. (Once more, Roddenberry would neeeeeverrrr.)
And um your critique here also kind of illuminates the core critique of The Incredibles re: ubermensch, for what it’s worth.
dude Picard bumps into an unidentifiable maybe not even that sentient life form on the space road and kills it, pretty innocent, road-kill style, and he’s gotta reconceptualize his entire future and philosophy because he’s so bummed that he killed a thing, you know
what the fuck is your problem jj abrams
and now i’m reading rgr’s star trek tag, oops, here we go
fuck you friday
The final kissing scene for Thor 2: The Dark World was shot during retakes after the main filming was finished, but Natalie Portman, who portrays Thor’s love interest Jane Foster, wasn’t able to make it. ‘It was for reshoots and he was working in Hong Kong and I couldn’t get there because I was working on my own film,’ the actress said. Since Natalie wasn’t available, Chris’ wife Elsa Pataky was asked to stand in, and the kissing scene was pulled off with the help of some tricky camera angles. “And so they put his wife in my wig and costume, that’s why it was so passionate. It was such a perfect solution, wasn’t it,” said Natalie.
omg thor is a hot dad that’s awesome