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so ryan comes to me and he’s all ‘have you seen the girl on youtube covering ‘toxic’ on the ukelele?’ and i’m all ‘no, but it sounds awesome.’ and lo, it was completely awesome.

so i check out sweetafton23’s other videos, including a cover of ‘tom cruise crazy’ by jonathan coulton, also on ukelele. sweet, i think to myself. this girl is going places. with a ukelele. and that’s awesome.

another person who thought that was awesome was jonathan coulton, who had her come perform a few songs with him at his recent seattle show, all of which you can watch on the tube.

mars had the top of its head shot off a long time ago. this is actual science.

the conundrum was that mars’ southern hemisphere is highlands, rough and crater scarred from millions of years of impacts and so on. whereas the northern hemi is smooth and low and doesn’t match up. one theory was that mars was one of many hard bodies in our solar system (and likely everywhere else too) where a gigantic impact crater on side a matches up with a vast lava upwelling on the far side.

but there was no candidate for the crater. now, they’re thinking that the impact basin’s shape itself suggests the impact. a comet or somesuch smacked into mars at an angle, and blew the crust off of the northern hemisphere, which cooled and resettled, lower and smoother than the original crust on the southern half.

a similar theory, the giant impact hypothesis of lunar formation posits that the earth was impacted at some point by a mars-sized body. a massive amount of debris was tossed out and eventually accreted into orbit and became the moon. meanwhile, the remnants of ‘theia’ and the proto-earth settled and became the earth we now know and love.

space is awesome. it’s nothing but things smashing into each other and blowing up. my favorite is galactic collisions which cause gravitational distortion and eventually a single new galaxy.

24 day one premiered in november of 2001. it’s an election year, unspecified, for the sake of clarity we’ll say it’s actually 2001 and the 24 alternate timeline has their elections one year off from ours. this puts day one in real-time, november of 2001. (apparently they have their primaries in november, maybe the election is in 2002?)

day two premiered in october of 2002, eleven months later. however, the story was set eighteen months after day one. this put the 24 timeline seven months ahead of realtime for the duration of day two, setting the days events in may of 2003.

day three premiered in october of 2003. one year later in realtime, three years later in the 24 timeline. day three was offset by two years and seven months in advance of realtime. the events of day three took place in may of 2006.

day four premiered in january of 2005. fifteen months later in realtime, eighteen months later in the 24 timeline. day four was offset by two years and ten months in advance of realtime. the events of day four took place in november of 2007.

day five premiered in january of 2006. one year later in real time, eighteen months later in the 24 timeline. day five was offset by three years and four months in advance of realtime. the events of day five will take place in may of 2009.

day six premiered in january of 2007. one year later in real time, twenty months later in 24 time. day six was offset by four years in advance of realtime. the events of day six will take place in january of 2011.

day seven will premiere in january of 2009, two years later in real time. the amount of time in the 24 timeline since day six has been given as both several months (early production before the strike) and about a year (speaking about the prequel to day seven currently filming, which will itself air in november of 2008). for the sake of this timeline we’ll assume both quotes are correct, and place the prequel one year after day six, and day seven three months after the prequel. twenty-four months of realtime, fifteen months in the 24 timeline. this will offset day seven by three years and three months in advance of realtime. the events of day seven will take place in march of 2012.

so this january, if jack bauer’s cellphone in day seven has magic powers, understand that it’s because of chronal distortion. he’ll be using government grade technology from 2012, the kind of thing civilians won’t have access to outside of korea until 2013.

if you go back and watch jack taking hi-res photos with amazing zoom, from the rafters of an airport, and upload heavy data packets at lightning broadband speeds, during the events of day five, take note of what kind of phone he’s using. you’ll be able to buy that model in may of 2009, when the timelines synch up.

note also that this timeline assumes a perfect synch on day one, in november of 2001. with no references to 9/11 or our cowboy president declaring war on terror, and a black senator running for president with nary a question about his race, it’s entirely possible that day one won’t take place until sometime after obama wins the presidency this november, placing palmer’s campaign no sooner than early 2012 or 2016.

the entire chronology slides forward at that point, and we can then surmise that rather than using the cutting-edge of korean electronics, ctu is actually making do with older, obsolete technology from the early to mid 2000s. they become the scrappy underdogs, constantly under scrutiny from their better funded and equipped ‘allies’ at division, and getting the job done despite massive technological deficiencies compared to their terrorist counterparts.

alternatively, the producers have stated recently that 24 takes place in ‘the perpetual now‘, which can be assumed to take place just before ‘the near future’.

the gop is worried that bob barr’s libertarian candidacy will steal votes from mccain’s base and risk a naderesque democratic win.

which is of course ridiculous. first off, yes, any votes any libertarian gets will come from the republican side, because that’s what libertarians are, anarchist conservatives. not all of them, of course, i’m sure you, yes you particularly, are a perfectly reasonable libertarian idealist, it’s just that the philosophy as usually expressed is about as practical in a modern society as communism. theoretically sound and idealistically nice, but practically impossible.

instead of the state keeping everything and sharing equally with all as needed, which fails due to corruption and abuse of power, libertarianism puts the money and power in the hands of individuals and corporations, and fails for the exact same reasons.

the liberal devil plan of taxing the fuck out of everyone and socializing health care and etc. has its own systemic corruption issues, but since the rich usually won’t voluntarily pay for stuff that poor people need but can’t afford, it’s kind of necessary for a balanced society. otherwise you get all the aristocrats being guillotined in the public square. or private armies defending fortified communities from the poor starving masses.

the republicans who think mccain is too soft would vote for bob barr. he’s not getting any democratic votes unless they’re insane old-democrat relics like old man zell. and yet, he’s still not really going to be a ’spoiler’, the same way nader wasn’t really either. barr puts it best himself.

Barr scoffs at talk that he will play spoiler, saying he is in the race to win it and it won’t be his fault if McCain loses.

“If Senator McCain is not successful, it will be because his message and his vision did not resonate with a plurality of the voters,” Barr said in an interview with The Associated Press.

you see, the people who voted for nader and not gore didn’t get bush elected. the half the country who voted for bush got bush elected.

twice.

supreme court rulings and hanging chads aside for the moment, let’s look at the facts. the 2000 election was close enough to call by a few miscounted votes. even if nader’s votes had gone to gore, it still wouldn’t have been a landslide. not as bad as bush senior, who got half of the vote, and only half the voters voted, giving us an election where the president was decided by one quarter of the population. but still.

there is no silent majority. if there had been in 2000, they’d have picked sides and voted in 2004. and it was a deadlock again there, and most of us didn’t even really like kerry until he was on the daily show right before he lost. so if barr does steal votes from mccain, and i hope he does because it makes the math easier for us, it won’t be barr’s fault. it’ll be mccain’s for being uncompelling to hardline super-conservatives.

and if obama wins, it won’t be because of bob barr. it will be because of us.

so i stepped on a squirrel this morning. stupid bastard ran right out in front of me, literally right underfoot. i trod upon it’s paw, it freaked out, and ran back the way it came. i hope i didn’t hurt it, but i’m also glad he didn’t try to go at me, because i was just in sandals, and i didn’t feel like paying for a tetanus shot today.

i don’t know if there’s karma for such things, but i cut my hand on an insulator, a woven particle/foam thing that goes under a hood? apparently they have razor sharp edges. that wasn’t so bad, then i cut my finger more seriously on a door skin.

also i’m allergic to the plant life.

meanwhile, the sun came out finally, so i got some new sunglasses. i had this rad pair last summer with sleek lenses that curved around the sides and completely covered, and thus shielded, my entire field of vision. they were infinitely excellent on glare-filled sunny days. until i dropped the damn things on concrete, and the arms broke off. the freaking arms! the lenses are fine, if i could replace the arms, etc etc.

no dice, no replacements either. but instead i found a pair of standard sized lenses with these wicked clear smoke gray rubber frames around the lenses, and thin metal arms. super flexible, and they weigh practically nothing. not a bad consolation prize.

i also pulled out my real glasses, which i haven’t worn in so long that i forgot they were also completely awesome. the lenses are smaller than i was used to, but the frames are this smokey purple-grey clear flexible plastic, that also are practically weightless. whenever my eyes finally realize that i stopped wearing my glasses, i suppose i won’t mind putting them back on.

hit the dmv on saturday, in and out in under ten minutes, now i have a paper drivers permit until the replacement comes in the mail. at that point, i had a few hours to kill, so i went mall shopping. paid $4.99 each at ross for charlies angels one and two, $9 each at goodwill for a sweet patagonia button-down and a couple other shirts, and $49.50 at macys for a pair of guess cargo shorts, marked down from $89.00. (i am stimulating the economy! look at me go!)

they’re pretty absurd. both of the standard hip pockets have sub-pockets on the flap? i’m not sure on the terminology here, but one has a zippered pocket that fits my cellphone, and one has a little change pocket that perfectly fits my ipod nano. can you say hello to my new transit cargos? a bit longer than i usually wear, but a little thinner material too. should breathe nicely on hot summer days.

and unlike last year, i found a pair of sandals that are actually good in every way, on sale. i’m shockingly prepared for the summer, wardrobe wise, which is great, because since summer is about to officially start, it’s practically time to start selling fall fashions. back to school is just around the metaphorical corner!

someday i’m going to start a clothing store called ‘in-season’ which will specialize in NOT selling clothing a full season in advance, and clearancing everything out by the time the weather for which it is designed actually arrives.

freddies had an executive putter set on clearance for $6. i’ve paid more for less useful things, so what the hell. as it turns out, the putter shaft is three sections of such lightweight wood that the gigantic metal head throws the balance way off. while i was at goodwill, i found a two-iron for a dollar and shall use that instead. no putters, oddly enough.

apparently i’m taking up golf? my dad asked me this in all seriousness, so i had to explain that i only wished i had the spare time and money for that particular pastime. maybe when i’m stupid rich, and collect tiny prefab modern houses.

abhay vs secret invasion #1

I think a lot of people have rejected the premise on a one-word basis: “Skrulls? NO! YOU SUCK.”

But this one– look, if they’re going to make crossovers, if they’re going to have Creator Summits where they put all their brainpower behind one series, and spend some budget putting together this “event”– if this is the game now, then I want to read the biggest, dumbest, loudest, stupidest, crassest, fan-angering, everybody punch everybody, punch-a-bunch crossover there ever was. If I’m a Roman, I want to live in Rome.

Skrulls? It’s got a shot at the belt.

as has been much discussed recently, the comics industry is in trouble. many ideas have been put forth, but most of them are simply editorial redirection or trying to work within a broken distribution system. see here and here for a good start on the current thinking.

this is all crap. there are notable problems with accessability to the material on all levels, and these are wildly easy to solve, making buying comics fun and easy for all people.

it’s just that it involves abandoning diamond distributors and comic shops to the wolves and moving the bulk of sales online.

in the long run the market will realign itself, just like how there are still bookstores even though amazon.com is wildly successful, and people still buy books even though amazon’s kindle is actually pretty awesome.

but someone has to take the first step, and it should be marvel, because for all their success, they’re still independent. they can do what they want, and they have the resources to pull it off. dc is owned by a gigantic multi-national who will never support any of this, until marvel does it and wins and they have to to stay competitive.

and it’s all just problem solving. so follow along at home as we present four steps for marvel to reinvent comics distribution, and vastly increase their readership at the same time.

Read the rest of this entry »

july 11 - atlantis season five
july 29 - eureka season three
november-ish - 24 day seven prequel movie thing
january 2009 - 24 day seven
february? 2009 - galactica season four second half
?? 2009 - lost season five

24: the movie is written, but on indefinate hold, to focus on days seven and eight. i can’t imagine fox ditching the series unless there’s a dramatic ratings drop, which i also can’t easily imagine happening. so the movie will probably happen, just not til 2011 or something like that.

the question on stargate: universe, the proposed and pitched to scifi channel third series in the franchise, is one of scale. atlantis and sg-1 were produced simultaneously for three years, atlantis and two sg-1 movies were produced simultaneously this year. the creative guys are confident they can make a third show work, some higher-ups want a third show. others are concerned that two shows and sg-1 movies simultaneously are too much, and if universe gets the green light, it will probably come at the expense of either atlantis or more sg-1. and atlantis is doing very well.

i imagine sales on continuum will help decide this. frankly, as long as they had three competent teams of writers, scaling up the production department shouldn’t be an issue. still, i would rather they went for quality than overextended themselves. the last few seasons of both sg-1 and atlantis have waffled between excellent and crappy, and if continuum is as good as it looks, then the sg-1 movies will be running at a 50% hit rate. not good odds, whereas a new show gives options to start fresh, while still doing sg-1 stories every now and again just like atlantis.

meanwhile, once shooting on the newly approved caprica pilot wraps, the galactica production crew may start work on second razor-style movie, content and timeline unknown. (apparently they pitched three of them?) additionally, the last episode is three hours long and will likely be aired as three parts, making the second half of galactica s4 twelve episodes long.

eight months from now.

there was also a rumor that caprica would reveal elements playing into galactica s4, so that may well be aired before the second half.

the futurama figures came with parts to build the robot devil, which is great, except he’s the only figure i would have bought straightaway.

nice one, guys. the build-a-figure concept was only worthwhile when it was the gigantic 18″ galactus and sentinel figures in the first two marvel legends waves to try it.

now you just get a slightly larger figure, or even a normal sized figure, and usually something awesome in a wave of complete crap. and it’s just not worth it anymore.

anyways. zapp brannigan also came with nixon’s head in a jar with presidential podium. so i kind of had to buy one. the way i see it, it’s nixon’s head, with bonus zapp brannigan figure i could care less about. (like the mcfarlane halo 3 gravity hammer, with bonus brute chieftan, i picked up for my spartans.)

so why do i need nixon’s head when he’s out of scale with basically everything, and i’m not collecting simpsons or futurama figures? two words.

mego nixon.

colonel chekov, the stuffy russian ambassador from sg-1, did the voices of marsala on exosquad and optimus primal on beast wars, both of whom were wise leaders and the exact opposite of chekov’s usual grumpy demeanor. this is intensely ironic. it also means i need to put a marsala figure next to my optimus primal toys.

i love stuff like that. the voice of wolverine on x-men: evolution was piccolo on the early dragonball z dubs. riker, worf, and troi voiced characters on gargoyles after next gen ended. half the population of vancouver bc has guest-starred on x-files, sg-1 and sg-atl, dead like me, eureka, galactica, and so on.

and you almost can’t watch next generation* or x-files* without recognizing someone from before they were famous.

*famke jannsen as one of picard’s girlfriends, ashley judd as wesley’s girlfriend
*young jack black and giovanni ribisi, and bradley whitford looking exactly the same as on west wing